This topic has been archived. It cannot be replied.
-
枫下拾英 / 乐韵书香 / 异乡游异乡游
昏黄冬尽暮
熙攘路人迟
惴惴飘零意
悄悄旧日思
异域流连醉
何堪数日痴
南风催北雁
应是返乡时
-winterbreeze(XX守望者);
2004-3-10
{106}
(#1639541@0)
-
刺！诗律工整！奈何愈短愈难，斧凿迁就感重！刺！情何以出！仓促出笔，诗者本无情，字间情娇作！
-spine(刺);
2004-3-11
(#1639581@0)
-
悄悄旧日思 和 何堪数日痴 2句有为韵凑数的嫌疑，还需斟酌
-rainrain(雨语 种三月花火);
2004-3-11
(#1639620@0)