本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I heard that you’ve made some comments on this posting and I wish you would keep following up with this and see this response. Just so you know that I know that my husband had been calling you for over 30 hours last months after he come back from China, and most of the time, right after the one minute phone call he made to home and telling me or my 6 yrs old or my 2 yrs old that he needed to work overtime, and then come home at 9,10,11pm.

I know it was you that he had been calling the minute I saw his cell phone bill but I wasn’t mad at you because this is a problem between him and me. Until my husband throw me the words that you and him discussed this and thought it is my fault regarding this birthday gift issue ( I saw him making the phone call that night at 1am and he didn’t have the guts to tell me who he was calling and I have to discover it on his over $100 cell phone bill later myself)

You have your own family, your daughter and the luxury to call him and pick up his phone call at your work time and talk to him for about 3, 4 hours ( I can see the 13 hours timing difference works how perfectly for you otherwise it would be your husband’s question that is haunting you by now). Do you know when he was “working” overtime my parents and I have to look after two kids, feed them, reason and coax and yell to one to finish his homework and piano practice, and try not to neglect the younger one at the same time? Do you know how many times the kids have asked when daddy will be home and I answered that daddy have to work overtime to keep his job and to earn us extra money? Do you know my parents walked 40 minutes to a supermarket to buy walnuts for him because they thought he had been working so hard lately and walnuts is good for the brain? Do you know that my heart was bleeding for not being able to tell them the truth and just to watch my parents literally run downstairs when they heard the door open at 9,10,11 pm and warm up supper for him after he worked his “overtime”?

I heard you said that I was unreasonable and had no reason to be mad at my husband over the birthday gift. All of a sudden this just made me so furious that I have to say something.

I had to, when I was 5 months pregnant, work in a factory on the line, standing 10 hours daily, to work my 600 hours for me to qualify for my EI benefit. I worked till 20 days before I delivered my first son. While at the same time my husband was staying at home and working on his English skills so that he could find a job in his field. Had you worked in a factory at a hot summer when you were at your late pregnancy for $10 per hour, you would learn to respect the $150 that got wasted on a fake iphone that you won’t be using and earrings that could not be worn.

You probably didn’t hear this during your long telephone conversation with my husband that when it was Chinese New Year, 2007, at 4pm my husband was still sleep on bed due to a hangover from last night’s alcohol while I was 6 months pregnant and looking after my 3 years old. I asked my husband to get up and make some dumplings with me just for the sake of my son because I wanted him to know this is Chinese New Year and to feel the joy, and we got into a fight because he wanted to sleep and I stormed out and got dragged back by a neighbor. He probably won’t tell you that the first thing he said to his six month pregnant wife was why she had to run out and humiliated him in front of the neighbors. That was the coldest winter in my life.

He certainly won’t tell you when his dad was here and had his eye accident that requires regular visits to the eye doctor, it was me that take him to see the doctors EVERY TIME for more than ten times. Mind you that I am working too and I had to take time off my work every each time. And ask him on your next phone call when my mom ran to our bed room at 2 o’clock at night because my dad had trouble breathing and need to go to emergency, ask him if he had bothered get up to check on my dad.

Had you know this, you probably won’t jump to the conclusion that I was unreasonable to ask him to be a little bit more thoughtful in the birthday gift rather than to grab something that is on sale on his company’s website.

I don’t think you intended to break a family (although this is what ended up happen). It isn’t fair to blame you on the problems that already exist. However, I want to tell you that it is very selfish to be enjoying your happy marriage and still try to stay in “the secret and softest place” of another man’s heart. Since my husband would rather lie for you and not willing to apologize to save the marriage, you have been very successful in staying in his heart. You know it is not hard for me to hurt you the same way you’ve hurt me, because when it come to defending our families, you and me are equally vulnerable. I won’t do that because it won’t help me or my kids, and will not stop my heart from bleeding knowing that my mistake has and will continue to cause a lot of damage to my kids and parents.

And by the way, never ever judge a wife who you don’t know just by what her husband had told you, especially when you are a woman and had a little history with that man long times ago. You are older than me and can’t be that naive. The fact that the husband got along with the wife fine when he needs her to fight beside him and only start to complain that she is not sweet and tender when he had achieved something speaks a lot about him.

My reaction to the birthday present is the nature of me, who had been sharpened and toughened by life for the past ten years. Therefore, before you use your soft little voice to tell my husband how you would appreciate the present if you were me, PLEASE, you are not me, and I’ll guarantee you, you can’t be me, who will have to get up in the morning to send the older one to bus stop; send the younger one to daycare; rush to work; leave work at lunch time in winter to pick up the younger one because she doesn’t want her parents to walk in the cold weather; rush back to work and stuff something to her mouth before afternoon’s work; rush out of work to the older son’s after school to pick him up; take the son to piano lessons; take the sons to skating and swimming; help her son with his homework and piano practice; chat with the younger son about what you should do when Luke in his daycare took his fire truck; after the sons are asleep, spend some time with her parents because she felt so guilty for keeping them here helping; watch her husband come home from his “overtime”, wondering if there are more lies behind everything; and then go back to her bed to wash out all the fake faces and cry herself to sleep to gain enough courage to face another day.

Just ask yourself, even though I believe that nothing had happened between you two so far, do you believe yourself that nothing won’t be happening if you two have the convenience of being in the same city, same country?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net