Come on, young boy, you should come. You still have so many chances. No matter you go back China, or stay in north america, three years later, when you get your citizenship! Otherwise... -lumlumq(lumlum) @埃德蒙顿华人论坛:埃德蒙顿枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Edmonton

相约北美 / 移民留学 / 我是否该放弃签证？ -weiwei99(weiwei99); 2000-7-29 {2041} (#4528@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛我是否该放弃？
我的签证很快就要到期了，这几个月我一直在考虑是否不去了，这种犹豫的状态很痛苦。下面列出我的想法（同时也提供给正准备申请或正在申请的移友参考），希望大家能给我指点迷津。
我的基本情况如下：男，26岁，计算机专业，single，三年国企工作经验，自办移民。我在98年底开始申请时，对加拿大的情况不很了解，带着几分好奇和几分冲动，就着手申请，反正不要花很多钱和时间。但是随着时间的流逝，我对加拿大，以及去加拿大的新移民的情况有了较全面和客观的认识，知道了移民生存的艰难。每天早上，当我醒来，意识最弱时，我一直有一种害怕的感觉，也许这是我潜意识的流露吧。一直以来，我告诉自己说，我去加拿大只是为了读一个学位，在三、四年后就回国到外企里工作。因此，我已经考了TOEFL（647），但实在没有决心考GRE。我打算仅凭TOEFL申请一个二流的计算机硕士学位，但现在好象竞争很激烈。总之，读书和回国是我征服对未知未来的害怕的两个支柱。
可是，另一方面我考虑到以下的几个问题：
（1）心理适应问题：我不是一个很坚强的人，心理比较脆弱和内向。我很害怕孤独。出国肯定有一个很大的心理落差。现在在国内，有这么多亲朋好友，是一笔无形的财富。
（2）经济问题：我若去加拿大，不但要花掉安家费，而且后面读书贷款，至少要欠政府一万加元。另一方面，若我留在国内，三年至少挣10万。这样一来一去，两种情况要差至少20万。
（3）成家问题：现在我还没有合适的女朋友，出去后这几年就更difficult了。没有心理支柱，我好怕孤单呀。
（4）父母问题：虽然和父母无法很好沟通，有时还吵架，但他们年纪以大，且身体不是很好，需要有人来关照。我要是出去，家中就没有孩子在身边了。
（5）技能问题：在国企这三年可把我的computer skill荒废了，现在除了会Delphi,C 实在没有其他过硬的本领，即使能顺利在明年入学，这等待的一年可没信心能找到工作。
（6）国内问题：其实我在国内还没有呆腻，也没有受到很不公平的待遇，要一气之下一走了之。国内的外企对我来说，还有很大的吸引力。国内还有很多我没有体验过的，比如创业。
也许很多人通过移民公司办理，花了一笔钱，没有回头路。但对于我来说，我没有付出很大的代价，得来轻易的就不会去珍惜，放弃也不会可惜。其实，移民的机会我想十年内不会变，如果我现在放弃，将来等到各方面有着落了，再申请是否更好呢？
也许你是以在国外的过来人，也许你在国内但较我有更多的经历，能否给我一点建议。谢谢！更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

别的不敢说什么，但是加拿大不比美国年轻中国女孩少，这里中国女孩很多的，多到去找在美国和国内的男朋友啦。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4529@0)

把握自我! -guest:; 2000-7-29 {411} (#4535@0)
我今年35岁,在国企干了14年!我曾和你一样害怕变化,心理脆弱,想安安稳稳度日,不求大福大贵光宗耀祖.但如此了却一生,活着又何意义?!况且,在现在的环境下,谁能保证你已有的安稳?经过几年的奋斗,CANAD才是最安稳的社会,因为她是真正的法制社会,不是什末'主义'社会!
具体问题:
1 20万不是问题,想想你将来在CANAD挣的,最多一年就回来了.
2 国内外企仅仅改变了工作的小环境,社会主义大环境不变.
3 26多好的年纪,你有时间提高你的COMPTER SKILL.

这里的生活节奏比国内快工作要求高，工作竞争更激烈， -guest:有得必有失; 2000-7-29 (#4543@0)
他的收入在国内是高薪，在这里他未必也能如此，高人多的是 -guest:钱是你移民的唯一目的; 2000-7-29 (#4557@0)

可爱漂亮的少，本地女孩基因差，新移民年纪太大。这里开放的很，如果你的思想比较传统难以适应，相反的话你会如鱼得水。 -guest:你的专业不错; 2000-7-30 (#4541@0)

这只能说明你呆的圈子太狭窄了。十年前来的大批家庭，孩子后来家庭团聚过来，年纪都在20-30之内。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4559@0)

我在大学了见的人多了。 -guest:你才少见; 2000-7-29 (#4574@0)

呵呵，新移民年纪比较大，在这里上什么课都喜欢抱成一团，你不如多去台湾人香港人比较多的教堂转转。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4580@0)

我这里香港人很多，我绝的香港人和我们有很大距离，大陆人香港人 -guest:大家都不会在一起; 2000-7-30 (#4619@0)

你的天空太小了，看来在这里真还没找到女朋友。 -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4621@0)

However, those girls will think he's too "TU"... ^^ -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 (#17987@0)

我不觉得这里多开放，很多童年移民过来的女孩的家庭和本人都比国内传统和保守得多。白人家庭也一样的。怎么样的生活要看你自己是什么样的人，你自己不过多了点选择的自由。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4560@0)

说的容易，加拿大也鼓励你保持本族的文化传统，也没有强迫你学英语，你就坚持说中文吗？但你不容入主流社会的结果是什么？ -guest:。。。; 2000-7-30 (#4678@0)

既然你真的不明白，那过十年再发表亲身体会吧。 -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4684@0)

觉得女孩不漂亮？请先照照镜子，或者咨询一下心理医生。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4565@0)

我想我的看法经的起这里其他网友的检验 -guest:让他们看看，是不是事; 2000-7-29 (#4570@0)

不要泡在电脑前，多出去走走，看看，虽然女孩子过了二十五岁一般都至少有男朋友了。也许你年纪大了点，可是说话挺小的，因此也还是可以尽量和二十左右的打成一片嘛， -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4579@0)
Even if some girls have their boyfriends, still you have chance... My wife left her boyfriend and turned to me... Hehe. Go ahead, young guy! -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4587@0)

Right. If you cannot attract any girl, you should realize there is something wrong with you. -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4588@0)

Agree. I have many ladies interested in me, but I can't find one that I really like. -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 (#17988@0)

象他这种情况在国内也是热手可炙 -guest:何必？; 2000-7-29 (#4569@0)
I have to agree. I have met many ladies who have shown interest in me, but I can't find one that I really like. ^^ -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 (#17989@0)

poor you. no young girls? maybe young girls consider you are from the generation of their uncles, hehe. -guest:; 2000-12-12 (#17992@0)

既然有这么多顾虑，还是不要出来了。 -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4583@0)
可很多人说在加国或美国都是未婚男多于女，到底谁的说话较贴近实际我都迷惑了？ -guest:Ann; 2000-8-12 (#6077@0)

有自信就不用担心，是你的就会是你的。 -guest:; 2000-8-12 (#6087@0)

一点建议 -guest:Be braver!; 2000-7-29 {1165} (#4571@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛（1）心理适应问题：我不是一个很坚强的人，心理比较脆弱和内向。我很害怕孤独。出国肯定有一个很大的心理落差。现在在国内，有这么多亲朋好友，是一笔无形的财富。

多上网啦，孤独时就到rolia.com //Sailor肯定高兴！

（2）经济问题：我若去加拿大，不但要花掉安家费，而且后面读书贷款，至少要欠政府一万加元。另一方面，若我留在国内，三年至少挣10万。这样一来一去，两种情况要差至少20万。

不用读书，直接可以就业工作。计算机专业啊，别人梦mei以求的东东！

（3）成家问题：现在我还没有合适的女朋友，出去后这几年就更difficult了。没有心理支柱，我好怕孤单呀。

好女孩可遇不可求，随缘而定。

（4）父母问题：虽然和父母无法很好沟通，有时还吵架，但他们年纪以大，且身体不是很好，需要有人来关照。我要是出去，家中就没有孩子在身边了。

安定之后你可以把父母接来加拿大定居。

（5）技能问题：在国企这三年可把我的computer skill荒废了，现在除了会Delphi,C 实在没有其他过硬的本领，即使能顺利在明年入学，这等待的一年可没信心能找到工作。

会Dephi, C就很了不起啦！

（6）国内问题：其实我在国内还没有呆腻，也没有受到很不公平的待遇，要一气之下一走了之。国内的外企对我来说，还有很大的吸引力。国内还有很多我没有体验过的，比如创业。

等你在国内呆腻了就晚了。

最后说一句：趁你还年轻！更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

只会dalphi C这里是很难找工作的，这里时髦VC VB JAVA -guest:斑竹不是吗？; 2000-7-29 (#4573@0)

VC VB JAVA is popular, but Delphi and C is also good. Especially if you're an experienced one. -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4586@0)

My boss only knows C, and he's a senior manager. If you know C and Unix very well, you don't need to worry. The other thing I noticed that many people who claim that they know C++ well still write everything in C style, not OO at all. -guest:; 2000-7-29 (#4589@0)

您说得非常中肯！ -guest:7 years in Canada; 2000-7-29 (#4582@0)

你是个聪明人我想你可以和这里的人多联系了解一下这里的情况在技术上尽量象这里靠拢，为自己将来留一手。万一不如意30岁再移民不迟，年轻人机会有的是，不着急 -guest:要享受生活; 2000-7-29 (#4572@0)

兄弟，不用怕，大哥我都已经29啦，女朋友都没有呢。况且连公证都没办成呢，你比我优越多了。也是做软件开发的，三年的AS/400开发经验，不知道懂这种语言的人在加拿大好不好找工作。有空请联系： hyt2000@netease.com -per(per); 2000-7-29 (#4607@0)

Don't worry with 3 year's programming experience on AS400, you can definitely find a job here except that your English is really poor. -ycc(carol); 2000-7-31 (#4776@0)

太激动了，终于见到搞AS400的朋友啦！我在银行搞AS40010年了熟悉OS/400，DDS，COBOL/400，RPG/400及SEU，SDA，主要做维护工作，英语好，能找到工作吗？请指教。E-MAIL：ehui0010@sina.com -lydia(小叶); 2000-10-6 (#10086@0)

Hi 小叶，我和你的情况有的类似，我是做IBM主机系统VSE维护的，很少写程序，不知是以工程师申请好还是以程序员申请好，你是以什么申请的？我们交流一下好吗？ -zeck(zeck); 2000-12-30 (#19883@0)

thank for your couragement. i am also a programmer on developing AS400 application software. i just intend to study any other language because i havn't enough confidence whether i can find a job knowing only AS400.Thank you very much! -lydia(小叶); 2000-10-6 (#10088@0)

weiwei99要晕菜了，这么多的水！ -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4640@0)

人家TOEFL能考647这么点东西就晕菜，还行？ -guest:兄弟你说个话？; 2000-7-30 (#4676@0)

看来你没见过多少高分。不过我不明白他干什么说不敢考GRE。 -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4680@0)

笔误，他是说没决心考。 -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4691@0)

太化时间人家现在还有工作，不是学生，时间精力有限GRE！=专业水平，即使学校收你，回头叫你补一大堆烂课你才知道什么是， -guest:欲罢不能！; 2000-7-31 (#4764@0)

What's your point? GRE is absolutely easier than serious research. -guest:; 2000-7-31 (#4765@0)
Seems campus life in China is very relaxed. -guest:; 2000-7-31 (#4766@0)

Come on, young boy, you should come. You still have so many chances. No matter you go back China, or stay in north america, three years later, when you get your citizenship! Otherwise... -lumlumq(lumlum); 2000-7-30 {514} (#4645@0)
Just want to clarify several things:

1. First, you are still so young, withour any burden, or limitation. And you haven't got your own business, or your senior positions in China, so, what should your worry about?

2. Since you are here, you have more chances to evelop. If you still choose giving up the visa, it's wasty. Though you didn't pay much for that.

3, There are so many young and good girls in Toronto, in Canada now. Many new Chinese, or oversee Chinese girls come here by themselves.^_^

how come weiwei99 didn't respond a piece of word but all others are arguing about girls...well, for my case.. -map(恭喜); 2000-7-30 {822} (#4657@0)
俺家就我一根苗，可俺爹俺娘从小就对我说：
1。孩子过了十八岁就该离开父母独自生活
2。你应该过我们所没有经历过的生活 you should experience more than
we could
3。生活的乐趣在于过程。幸福不在于钱多而在于体验。
4。不要做将来会后悔的决定。将来，一般是指五到十年。
（俺们小时候可还没有读者文摘呢）
所以俺高中一毕业就跑到离家两千公里的地方去读书，大学一入学就敢跟
军训排长辅导员顶嘴，大学一毕业就申请留学，录取通知书一到就停职，
停职信一交就去美领馆排队，面试费一交就被拒签，如此一来，俺可是一没
正式工作二没钱三没实现心中理想。。。郁闷吧。。。不过生活总有他自己
的安排，这种情况下，俺就掉转马头识时务，狠狠学了把技术，又开始了
将近半年的找工历程，期间还痛不欲生了一回。。。这段经历，虽然当时
当事很痛苦，但时间过去，经历就变成了经验，成长就走向成熟，痛苦也
只是疤痕－－生活的改变，又有什么可怕的呢？该来的都来吧。。。

Hi, 恭喜, From your experience, I come to admire you very very much! -sailor(Sailor); 2000-7-30 (#4671@0)

恭喜，你是个好样的！ -truemimi(mimi); 2000-8-1 (#4847@0)

map is a good boy. A man should be like this, hehe. -guest:; 2000-7-30 (#4681@0)
you are so funny, eh? -sherry1212(sherry1104); 2000-8-4 {104} (#5130@0)
funny, funny, funny, ...............................
but I admire you.
no pay, no gain. is it right?
Cool! I admire you and totally agree with you, Good luck! -ychtina(Enjoy the life!); 2000-8-12 (#6128@0)

I think you should stay in Canada, as you are not self-confident, and the life style here may not be suitable for you. -ycc(carol); 2000-7-31 (#4775@0)

typo? it's China. -guest:; 2000-7-31 (#4784@0)

非常感谢诸位热心朋友的参谋。我一定会好自为知的。这是一个活跃的论坛，有着一班友好的网友。Thank you! -weiwei99(weiwei99); 2000-8-1 (#4844@0)

好久没看到一个论坛这么热闹了 -truemimi(mimi); 2000-8-1 {4} (#4846@0)
真好
是，绝对是轰动的一帖。想必是触动了许多人，或者许多人也动过此念，并最终为自己的选择或不选择想了很多理由。 -susse(susse); 2000-8-4 (#5134@0)

After marry , then go to canada -xiaoxiao2000(xiaoxiao2000); 2000-8-1 {180} (#4901@0)
I think after marry , you can go canada and have new life there, other wise , lonely also very horrable. But if you have your wife accompany, the hard time easy overcome.
xiaoxiao

but the thing is that if he's going to sponsor his wife later, the imm officer will check the date of their marriage and if he does go back to get married after his landing. -guest:; 2000-8-2 (#4942@0)

It's ok to get married after landing. But if get married b4 landing, you have to hand back the LP and re-apply. -sailor(Sailor); 2000-8-2 (#4945@0)

weiwei，送你两句老话：1）男儿志在四方，2）天涯何处无芳草。现在没有女朋友正是你没有羁袢闯荡江湖的大好时光，爱情就在不远处等着你。 -rolia(rolia); 2000-8-2 (#4983@0)

对对，大丈夫何患无妻！越成熟越有魅力。 -guest:; 2000-8-2 (#4984@0)

说的轻巧，这里女孩难找不说，即使你想找，互相信任感也差很多，还有这里的婚姻法偏向女方。你不想想美国那么多单身男人，难道都是因为条件太差， -guest:女人太少？; 2000-8-2 (#4987@0)

你不信任别人，凭什么别人就该多信任你一点？你有这个心，就显然不配是善良女孩可终身为伴的人。没女朋友就想着将来离婚了，那你有本事在结婚前签和约好了。中国人在美国的学生大多是理工科，本来理工科女孩就不多，更何况出国留学。很多小点的学校，全系就没有单身女孩。 -guest:; 2000-8-3 {66} (#5074@0)
算了，跟你费口舌也是毫无意义，您也算是打着灯笼也找不出的一位主了。

在国内想嫁出国的人不少，难道他们不会从那里选？我很多想移民加拿大的也在这么想。我也没有要求谁多信任我一点。我是在说这里的情况 -guest:不是和你辩论; 2000-8-3 (#5094@0)

怎么你在losers堆里。 -guest:; 2000-8-4 (#5139@0)

我还说中国的婚姻法偏向男性呢! 宣扬大男子主义,对婚内虐妻案束手无策. -lily.m(july); 2000-8-3 (#5091@0)

法律是法律，你只能遵守，加拿大美国的法律等你知道后，自己判断 -guest:谁不满也没有用; 2000-8-3 (#5093@0)

法律是人定的,当然受人的思想左右,可以表现为宽容, 严格, 细致 , 保守, 开放. 现在不是正修改国内婚姻法吗? -lily.m(july); 2000-8-3 (#5105@0)

中国法律和中国人的一般道德标准相适应，加拿大的社会道德概念和中国不同，有很多中国人不能适应的东西，先不说婚姻法，比如打孩子非法要失去移民身份，许多人很难接受 -guest:这类情况还多了; 2000-8-3 (#5109@0)

无力管教孩子，只好靠拳脚，怎么loser还会觉得特理直气壮呢？这位对未来的老婆孩子有虐待倾向，臆想的病入膏肓了。 -guest:; 2000-8-4 (#5140@0)

sorry, 不是不满我并不很了解的法律.只是觉得中国社会中国人的道德观念实在很大男子主义 -lily.m(july); 2000-8-3 (#5111@0)
其实自己也会这么想,一对人吧,似乎男子就该比女子略高一筹. -lily.m(july); 2000-8-3 (#5114@0)

在社会脚色，和社会对男性的期待就是如此，如果哪个男人说我要退到家庭主妇的位置，恐怕没有人能接受 -guest:女性则不然; 2000-8-3 (#5115@0)

ok,这就是你的不信任, 拥有一个善良单纯的可以大事听凭你作主的女子(女人?我不喜欢),越来越少了! 所以会有不信任. 菲利浦亲王这样的贤内助,很可爱可敬哟! -lily.m(july); 2000-8-3 (#5119@0)

it's his problem. in fact many chinese men are already very feminine, but loves domestic violence. He is a loser. -guest:; 2000-8-4 (#5137@0)

我觉得他是男人们的楷模.他把一般人难以接受的形象表达得这么好.你能吗? -lily.m(july); 2000-8-7 (#5473@0)

you mean duke of Edinburg(?)??? You never know his public image is kind of brainless? -guest:; 2000-8-7 (#5538@0)
他的形象本来也没有什么难以接受的吧。Queen Victoria 的丈夫Prince Albert做得比他似乎好不少呢，从史书上来看。Philip做为希腊没落王室成员，身无别技(至少泰国国王是音乐家)，替英国王室传宗接代，够舒服的啦。 -guest:; 2000-8-7 (#5543@0)

其实做家庭主妇也是一个职业，如果想料理好一个可爱温馨的家，相夫教子，那活儿也不轻松。再说，现在很多工作和投资都可以在家里做。人格的独立和职业，性别并没有必然的关系。 -guest:; 2000-8-4 (#5141@0)

请问温哥华的单身女性是不是比男性多？谢谢！ -guest:Ann; 2000-8-12 (#6076@0)

男儿志在四方，找不到合适女孩，自己单过也能过得不错。 -whitetiger(whitetiger); 2000-8-4 (#5124@0)

Don't be afraid. Go ahead! -rabbitjessy(QQ); 2000-8-4 {382} (#5132@0)
第一，作为一个男人，你还很年轻，所以你应勇敢的去闯世界。

第二目前还尚未听说有任何人会觉收入比国内少。我先生目前在国内的收入已达2000美金，但我们依然选择移民。我们坚信国外的生活方式，环境等比国内强。

第三，现在移民日益增多，大家同是“天涯沦落人”，你会在很短的时间内拥用新朋友。我和你一样也非常害怕孤独，但我一样要自已独立在加拿大生活四年(我先生要去美国工作)

GO head! Boy
I have the same situation as you. Go ahead. -ychtina(Enjoy the life!); 2000-8-12 {316} (#6061@0)
I have the same situation as you. I worked in a foreibner company for three years, nothing difficult with national company, because we live in the same country, the same rule. My job is very busy, I haven't time to prepared GRE, so I decided to immigrate, and I am the same age with you. Don't hesitate, go ahead.
斑竹不要这样，让他们重新输入一次 -guest:; 2000-8-12 (#6079@0)
You need to go. -3men(3men); 2000-8-13 {279} (#6153@0)
1.RMB20,000 is nothing for you when you found a proper job with a local master degree in Canada;
2.it's the same for you to find a girlfriend in either Canada or China;
3.you'll find yourself so regretful in your older age if you don't take this challenge.
4. you can go!!!

如果他不是计算机专业呢？ -abc2000(乐乐); 2000-8-17 (#6562@0)

本人就不是计算机专业的! -3men(3men); 2000-8-19 (#6656@0)

等你长大了再出吧. Baby. -guest:LaoShao; 2000-8-19 (#6712@0)
很少像你这样的人，不敢一搏的男人，哪个姑娘敢喜欢你。 -guest:guest; 2000-11-22 (#15341@0)

it's true -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 {721} (#17982@0)
It's a fact that it's more difficult to find a girl friend here than in China. Everybody knows it. There are many new immigrants come from China these years. Among them, many singles. However, the ladies are usually quite old, and almost no one is pretty, many are dicorced, some even have children. That's why it looks like you can see many single ladies here, but suitable ones are rare.
You can only find Jie Jie here, and not pretty.
Everybody has different feelings and opinions about certain issue -- such as Canadian immigration, because everyone has different experience, situation, personality, ....
You're the one who knows yourself the best.
Follow your own feelings. That's my advice to you.

^_*

ah ha, seems you only have confidence about yourself on new immigrants from China. yes many of they are not very young, but they are definitely not the only female group in this country. -guest:; 2000-12-12 (#17993@0)

my advice ... please enter -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 {724} (#17984@0)
It's a fact that it's more difficult to find a girl friend here than in China. Everybody knows it. There are many new immigrants come from China these years. Among them, many singles. However, the ladies are usually quite old, and almost no one is pretty, many are dicorced, some even have children. That's why it looks like you can see many single ladies here, but suitable ones are rare.
You can only find Jie Jie here, and not pretty.
Everybody has different feelings and opinions about certain issue -- such as Canadian immigration, because everyone has different experience, situation, personality, ....
You're the one who knows yourself the best.
Follow your own feelings. That's my advice to you.

^_*
I just realized someone even called you ' young boy ' and yet they know you're 26 already. Imagine how old those people are and the common age of those new immigrants here. *_^ -jesus(jesus); 2000-12-12 (#17986@0)

any guys>24 should be considered a man, it's sad if he's not a man yet. 'boy' definitely sounds funny on 26-yr-old person, who is supposed to be capable to raise a family, ho ho. -guest:; 2000-12-12 {110} (#17994@0)
By the way, why >26-yr-old guys never think they do have some problem too if they cannot find girls they want?

I always call a guy "boy" if he hasn't got married. Sounds quite normal. -kiwi(kiwi); 2000-12-12 (#17999@0)

@Edmonton

Come on, young boy, you should come. You still have so many chances. No matter you go back China, or stay in north america, three years later, when you get your citizenship! Otherwise...

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